


Daughter of the Unseesn University

by Sherlock_holmes_girl_whovian_for_David



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: F/M, I can't do tags sorry, I'l try my best, M/M, So do the wizards, Vetinari has a big secret, probably some feels in there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-06 21:28:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1873110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherlock_holmes_girl_whovian_for_David/pseuds/Sherlock_holmes_girl_whovian_for_David
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexa was born in the UU, her mother not leaving more than a first name and a locket before she died. Alexa was brought up under the almost watchful and careful care of the University, Munstrum Ridicully having basically adopted the child. Now, eighteen years later, the answer to a life long mystery is about to reveal itself...</p><p>How life pans out for the girl with the whole Unseen University as a guardian and a very powerful man as her recently found father. Hilariousness and maybe some family feels follow when the girl who can walk through walls finds family and romance in the most unexpected place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Babies and dying mothers

A very pregnant looking woman managed to make her way into the grounds of the University. No one was quite sure how, but, obviously in pain, the woman begged for medical attention from anyone who would listen.  
Mustrum Ridicully heard the calamity as he passed his morning run, and chose to investigate. To say he was surprised to find a baby and a dying mother surrounded by maids and a few inquisitive younger wizards, was an understatement. The mother whispered gentle words to whoever would listen, which somehow happened to be Ridicully, as the maids tried to calm the newly born wailing baby.

Ridicully leaned forwards as the woman weakly reached out.  
"Call her Alexa." Was all she whispered before she fell limp. A shiver ran through Ridicullys spine as he turned around to face the skeletal head of Death.  
"EXCUSE ME." Death said politely, waiting for the wizard to leave the woman's side.   
"Yes, of course." He mumbled, scuttling backwards. In his slightly dazed state he thought he heard Death mutter,  
"SUCH A WASTE OF LIFE" As he reaped the soul of the mother, whom, Ridicully was almost certain he saw the spirit look over the baby before dissipating.  
"GOOD DAY GENTLEMEN" Said Death as he strode out of the room, in a swish of a cloak that only the Grim Reaper could ever hope to achieve.

Ridicully was the first of the wizards to come out of the daze that Death always seemed to leave behind. The baby was still bawling her eye out in the arms of a maid. Ridicully walked over and looked at the cloth swaddled baby, her brilliant blue eyes watery and red from tears.  
"Whatever shall we name her?" The maid holding the child asked, as she continued to cry.  
"Her mother said Alexa." Answered Ridicully gently, wondering why the child was pulling on his heartstrings so much.  
"No last name?" Another maid asked.  
"No." Ridicully paused then asked "Can I hold her?"  
  
The maid holding the child looked up at the wizard, confused, but agreed and handed over the baby.  
  
As soon as Ridicully had full hold of the baby, she stopped crying, and opened her eyes wide, looking up at the bearded wizard in almost awe, a tiny hand latched onto his robe, and he was sold.  
"Would you look at that." The maid mused, smiling.  
"Where will she go now?" One of the younger wizards asked "An orphanage?"   
Ridicully spun round and shot an accusing glare at the young student, who shrunk away.  
"Absolutely not!" He boomed, then looked down at the child gently, to see she had fallen asleep. "She will stay here with us. She might be more competent with magic than you, Rincewind!" It was a low blow, even for Ridicully, but he was fuming. An orphanage? Not going to happen. 

The baby cooed in her sleep, and curled up closer to the headmaster, who smiled down gently. She was going to be a bucket load of trouble, but he knew it would be worth it.


	2. Growing up

When Alexa was one she could speak fluent Morporkian, better that some of the students sometimes. It was suspected that it was because of the mysterious purple cloud that she passed through a few months previous, no one knew where it came from, or where it went. Despite the best efforts of the whole university (Under Ridicullys orders)

 When she was two, she took to running everywhere. Especially rings around the older wizards. Ridicully did have to admit it was amusing to see the Bursar stare down at the small child speeding around his feet, giggling.

 When she was three, she developed an affinity to walking through walls. Some of the younger students thought it was a delayed side effect of the purple cloud a few years previous, others just though it was the fact that she had lived in such a magical place all her life. It got a little hard to discipline her if she could just walk straight through the wall you cornered her in. Many wizards had run into walls trying to catch her.

When she was four, she made a wizard cry by beating him up. The young wizard left the university. Apparently he runs a lovely shoe shop in Klatch.

Years five six and seven all melded together in a mush of hyperactivity.

Eight nine and ten were all one clump of adventurous nature. She was regularly found on the roof, or digging a hole through the disc or seeing how far she could jump, usually over a gap in the miles high wall surrounding the university, Ridicully had rather high blood pressure those few years.

Years eleven and twelve were a build up to the teenage years. The 'birds and the bees' talk went surprisingly well, and she started asking for a few dresses, having permanently lived in dungarees for the past years. Ridicully found himself a little emotional as she flounced about in her summer dress for the first time, long dark hair flowing free down her back, bare footed on the octarine grass.

Thirteen and fourteen, she didn't want to know anyone, and locked herself away most of the time. When she did come out, it was to ask for piercings and hair cuts.

 

When she was fifteen, Ridicully gave in. Let her have her ears pieced, and have her hair cut short so it fell lightly over one eye. Ridicully couldn't help the gasp that came out as the locks fell to the floor.

 

At sixteen, she made a show of bringing a few boys home, all of whom were scared off by the whole campus, who had gotten a little over protective of the young woman. She sighed heavily, but laughed along with the wizards at the retreating figure of the current boy.

When she was seventeen, she started to ask questions about her mother. Ones that Ridicully would have loved to answer, but couldn't. And about her real father, but he couldn't answer that either. All he could do was give her the locket her mother had on when she died, that contained a picture of the mother herself and a pair of old people, probably family of some sort. Ones that they were never able to track down.

 

At eighteen, where our story really begins, she finds out the biggest mystery of her life has solved itself, with a simple iconograph.


	3. Iconographs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vetinari gets shown a very interesting iconograph.

Mustrum didn't expect the reaction he got when he showed the Patrician an iconograph of his adopted daughter.

Ridicully was having a meeting with the lord about the expenses of the University (yes the cheese board was necessary) and the fact his daughter had just turned eighteen a few weeks ago made its way into the conversation, probably down to the cost of the party they threw her. Ridicully was so proud of her, he passed over the little image of her all dressed up to Vetinari for what he was expecting to be a cursory glance and a simple comment. However, he held on tight to the image, before with shaking hands placing it down on the table, before bombarding Ridicully with questions about her.

When Ridicully had finally finished answering the questions, the lord went a paler shade of white than usual and held the arms of his chair tight, turning the chair as if to get up, before leaning forwards slightly and beginning to breath very shallow.

"My lord, are you okay?" The wizard asked tentatively, looking worriedly at the tyrant of Ank-Morpork. When he didn't respond, he tried again.

"Havelock, what happened?"

Again, the Patrician didn't respond.

Ridicully called in the only other man he knew the lord would trust.

"Drumknott!" He shouted at the doors, flapping about uselessly in the middle of the oblong office.

Drumknott sent a curious glance to the wizard as he entered the room, but ran over to his master as he saw the lord almost hyperventilating.

"My lord, please breath deeply." He said politely, crouching down in front of him. When that didn't work he sent a confused frown into nowhere then tried again.

This time he gently held the Patricians arms and looked him straight in the eye.

"My lord, I know you're frightened, and confused because its been a long time since you've been frightened, however it seems you're having a panic attack." He said gently, but firmly, holding the weak gaze with ease. "To stop this, I need you to breathe deeply, my lord. Slowly and deeply."

He took a few breaths with Vetinari and when he seemed to have the hang of it, he stood up and directed his gaze at the wizard, stood gaping in the middle of the office.

"What did you do?" He said plainly, the question not really being a question, more a slightly more polite way of stating you want an answer, now.

 "I don't know." Ridicully replied truthfully "I showed him a picture of my daughter and he well-" He waved a gesture at the lord who was still concentrating on breathing.

"May I see?" Drumknott asked, again using his, 'Its not really a choice' tone. Ridicully held out the image for Drumknott to see, and he took a little step back, his breath hitching. 

It was then Vetinari seemed recovered and gave Ridicully a level stare. He pulled something out of his robe. On a silver chain was a locket, identical to the one that the mother of Alexa was wearing.   
"This is my wife. Well, dead wife." He said, holding out the now open locket for Ridicully to see.   
"She looks just like Alexa" It held the same picture that Alexa's did.  
"I know, that's why I reacted like I did." He stood up slowly and took a few experimental steps, before striding over to the window.  
"I believed my wife had died in a fire, nearly nineteen years ago. Now I see it was closer to eighteen."  
"You didn't know she was-" Ridicully began.  
"No, she wanted children, but she always said it was too dangerous. Now I see it was."  
"Havelock-"  
"One question I didn't ask was why Alexa?"  
"She said to call her that, your wife."

The Patrician stood silent for a while.   
"I need to tell her." He said finally "I need to know my own daughter."  
"Are you sure-" Began Ridicully.  
"I need to know her, Mustrum. You've had her for eighteen years, both of us completely oblivious, now, I need to know her." He turned to look at the wizard, a strange warmth in his eye. "I have a daughter."

Ridicully left a few minutes later after arranging a time for Alexa to visit the next day. He was followed out by the young receptionist. Ridicully paused in front of the young man's desk.  
"I don't mean to pry, but are you and Havelock, well..." He made an expansive gesture and raised an eyebrow. Drumknott glanced up from his paperwork to look at the gesturing wizard.  
"No, we are not, he is a little too much older than me, never mind that he is my boss. Have a good day."

Ridicully wandered away, thinking up ways to break the news to Alexa with the least collateral damage.


	4. Really?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, I am epic at chapter titles, so yeah. Alexa finds out who her dad really is!

Ridicully found Alexa spread eagle on the grass, soaking in the sun that only ever made a rare appearance in Ank-Morpork.  
"Alexa?"  
She opened her eyes and all of a sudden he could see that she had her fathers eyes, a piercing blue.  
"Yes Daddy?" She said, grinning up at the figure above her.  
"I got some interesting news today when I was meeting the Patrician."  
"Really?" She said, obviously dis-interested, picking at the grass.  
"About your father."  
"What, like my biological father?" She said excitedly, sitting up.  
"Yes, we know who he is."  
"Really?!" she said, jumping up onto her feet, grabbing his arm. "Who?"  
Ridicully takes a deep breath.  
"Havelock Vetinari."

She drops his arm, stumbling back down onto the grass.  
"No."  
"Baby girl, I'm sorry I know-"  
"NO!" She shouts and runs away, through the wall to the permanently locked shed that resided.

Alexa didn't like the tyrant of Ank-Morpork.

When she was five, Ridicully had decided to take her out into the city for the first time. She had been fascinated by all the people and children. She had run away, chasing after a group of new found friends and had been inadvertently dragged along to a public hanging. That was one of the reasons she had never been out into the city before. Of course Ridicully chased after her, but he didn't get there in time to stop her seeing the Patrician sentence the two men to death and drop them both. She looked up at Ridicully who had finally found her with tears in her eyes. He bundled her up close to him and she wept into his shoulder.  
"Time to go home baby girl." He said, walking back towards the university.

He spent the next two hours trying to explain to her why they had been killed.  
  
"They were bad people, baby, they were being punished."  
"But no one deserves to be killed!" She countered, pacing her room in her pajamas.  
"Go to bed honey, try not to think about it."  
The little girl sighed and climbed into bed next to him.  
"I don't like him." She mumbled sleepily.  
"I know hun, but you don't ever need to know him."  
"Okay." She whispered and pulled her covers close. Ridicully planted a kiss on her forehead and then left the room.

Ever since that day, she'd had a grudge against Vetinari.

 

He waited out on the grass until she emerged from the shed.  
"He wants to meet you." He said, not looking at her.  
"Why?"  
"Because he wants to get to know you."  
"No, he doesn't." She came and sat next to him.  
"He does, you should have seen him."   
She tipped her head quizzically.  
"You can't tell anyone, promise."   
"Promise."  
"He had a panic attack, turned white, nearly hyperventilated! His secretary had to calm him down."  
"No!"  
"He did, promise. He was very shocked, and happy to find he had a daughter. He also seemed upset he hasn't known you these last eighteen years."  
"Okay...."  
"Please meet with him tomorrow."  
She sighed. "I don't know. It is a bit much."  
"I know baby girl, but he is really serious. I've known him a long time. I've never seen him act like that."  
She seemed to think it over.  
"Okay, but only because you made such a good argument." 


	5. Meetings don't always go as they do in your head.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope you can follow what can only loosely be called a 'train' of thought. More like a runaway carriage.

In Vetinari's head, the meeting will go something like this.

_Vetinari was sat behind his desk, yes he was nervous, but not overly so. He put down his pen and pushed aside the current paperwork to look over at the opening door. In walks a girl, she is wearing a plain summer dress and has her short hair clipped out of the way. She gives the lord a nervous look as the door closes behind her._

_Vetinari stands up and steps from behind his desk. He holds out a hand, and she gently takes it, looking everywhere but his face._  
 _"It's a pleasure to meet you, Alexa." He says gently, or as gently as he can, trying his best not to make her anymore nervous than she obviously is._  
 _"And you, my lord." She says quietly, looking distinctly at him, but not his face, never meeting his eyes._  
 _"Please sit down." He says, gesturing to a pair of chairs. "And call me Havelock."_

_She sits down lightly on one, and Vetinari takes the other, waiting in a careful silence. Alexa doesn't look like she's going to say anything anytime soon, so Vetinari starts the conversation._  
 _"I heard you had your eighteenth birthday a few weeks ago."_  
 _She looks up from her hands, which were resting in her lap, to look in shock at the man sitting across from her._  
 _"Yes, I did. Dad- I mean Mustrum threw a really big party for me."_  
 _"I know, I saw the iconograph."_  
 _"Really?"_  
 _"Yes, it's the reason I came to my conclusion."_  
 _"What conclusion?"_  
 _"That you are my daughter."_  
 _"How could you tell?"_  
 _"You look just like your mother."_  
 _"Can you tell me about her, Havelock?" She asked tentatively, finally looking him straight in the eye._

_They spent the whole afternoon talking. It ran over many other appointments, but Vetinari knew that Drumknott would re-schedule them to a later date._

_"I really must go." Said Alexa, standing up from her chair. "Mustrum will be expecting me back."_  
 _"Well, maybe, sometime, you could move here, there are plenty of rooms." Vetinari replied, following her._  
 _"I would like that. Goodbye Havelock." She said, reaching up to kiss his cheek, then scuttling out of the door._

_Vetianri sat back behind his desk and smiled to himself._

In Alexa's head, the meeting will go something like this.

_She's still sat outside the office ten minutes after their meeting should have started. She hadn't dressed up, in fact, she may have dressed down, leaving her hair to do what it wishes and wearing a pair of old dungarees. She wasn't out to impress his man, no matter who he may be._

_Finally, the lords secretary, a man with an annoying squeaky voice and a habit of looking at you like you'd just been scraped off the bottom of the Ank, came out and said that his lordship was ready for her._

_She strolled into the room, which was icy cold, the Patrician was sat behind his desk, not even looking up from his paperwork. After a few minutes, he finally looked up and gave her a cold hard stare. He looked her up and down, then finished whatever he was scribbling and put down the pen._  
 _"You must be Alexa." He said, and made no movement to greet her._  
 _"Yes."_  
 _"You look a lot like your mother."_  
 _"I know, I have the picture."_  
 _"I am prepared to make a proposal-"_  
 _"Look, I know you don't give a damn. I'd quite happily forget about this whole thing and go back to the University, to be with my real family and go back to imagining stories about my other father who was obviously off having adventures. You are not my family, so don't pretend to be." She said sharply, then added "My lord."_

_"I'm glad we agree." He said despondently and went back to his work._  
  
 _Alexa turned on her heel and stormed out of the oblong office through the wall, past the complaining secretary she had appeared right next to and back to the University, where she never had to see that monster of a man again._

In reality, however, nothing ever goes quite as it does in your head.   
Both Vetianri and Alexa were nervous. Alexa was fussing over what to wear, despite having decided not to dress up. Vetianri was constantly checking the time, even during other meetings, he would glance out of the window to check the suns progress across the sky, having never had a pocket watch or clock in his room (another sign of his omnipotence).

Alexa turned up five minutes early in a pair of dungarees, but with her hair neatly styled. She sat and waited outside for the Patricians meeting to end. Sat across from her at a desk was a young man. He had dusty blonde hair, desperately patted down with water and gel of some sort to try and control it, but it seemed that it didn't fully succeed with a few bit curling away from the artificial grain of the hair. When he felt Alexa's gaze he looked up at her with warm brown eyes.  
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Alexa, I'm the Patricians personal secretary, Rufus Drumknott." He said, and smiled in her direction. Perhaps the secretary wasn't like she thought.  
"It's nice to meet you too, Rufus." She said, sending a small smile back. Alexa had never understood the way people called others by their last name, maybe it was her lack of one. The tips of the young mans ears went a little red at the use of his first name and was about to say something back when a very annoyed commander Vimes of the watch stormed out of the office, leaving the door swinging. Rufus went to check on his boss for a short time and when he came out, it was to send her in.

Vetinari had been a lot more nervous than he'd thought he would be. So much so he hadn't been able to properly concentrate in his last meeting with Sam Vimes. He'd obviously said something offensive and would have to consult the recording imp in his desk drawer to find out what he'd said wrong. He looked up as the door opened.

She didn't look much like he was expecting. She had her mothers face, and despite the short hair, held a shocking resemblance that sent him trembling now he was seeing it in person. Oddly, in his opinion, she had on a pair of dungarees that looked a little worn at the knees. She stood in the middle of the office, looking around in temporary awe, then catching his eye and keeping the gaze. The Patrician now knew what it felt like to be on the receiving end of a Vetinari stare.  
"It's wonderful to meet you." He said after a moment of staring, getting out of his seat and holding out a hand. She took it cautiously, but when hr hand was fully seated, she had a firm grip and shook his hand sharply twice, before letting go.  
"You too, my lord." She said, her voice, whilst sounding refined, was very confident.  
"Please call me Havelock." He said, then gestured to the seats. "Please have a seat."  

She sat cross-legged on the large seats he'd had moved into the office for this meeting and tipped her head quizzically as he sat on the one opposite.  
"I have to say." She began, much to Vetinari's surprise, "This wasn't what I was expecting."  
"What were you expecting?"  
"Well..." She tailed off and looked to the side. "I wasn't expecting your secretary to be so nice." She deflected away from the question, it didn't go unnoticed by Vetinari, but he decided he didn't really want to know what she was expecting.  
"I hand picked him from many applicants, he has to be the best, that includes manners."  
She nodded her head in acknowledgement.  
"I'll admit, I didn't really want to do this." She said, looking into the middle distance, just to the left of Vetinari. "It took my dad a lot of persuading to get me here."  
"Why ever so?" Vetinari asked, genuinely concerned.  
"When I was five, I saw you sentence two people to death." She began, still staring at that point beside him. "I'd always been taught that no one deserves to die and you just sentenced two people to that exact fate. Ever since then, I'd always had a bad opinion of you, no matter what you did." She finally drew her gaze back into focus. "I think I may have pre-judged you, Havelock."  
Vetinari sat in a silent shock for a few minutes, whilst Alexa played with the hem on the bottom of her dungarees.  
  
"You are very well spoken." He said finally, not quite sure how to react.  
"I have been since I was around one." She said, then laughed. "Apparently I went through this cloud of purple gas that let me speak perfect Morporkian. They never did find it again." She chuckled a little more, and Vetianri smiled at his daughter.

She went silent for a bit and looked around the room. When looking to her side, Vetinari had a sudden flash of memory. A time when his wife was much younger and they would sit in the garden at his aunts, she would look up to the sunshine just like that, like she was trying to store as much as possible for a rainy day.  
"Havelock?" Alexa's questioning voice broke through the image and he looked up at his daughter, who was stood over him.  
"You blanked out for a bit, I was about to call in Rufus." She said, apparently concerned.  
"Rufus?" He said, collecting his thoughts "Oh, yes, Drumknott." He collected himself a little more then apologised.  
"I'm sorry, you just looked so much like your mother, I had a sudden flashback."  
She frowned, then smiled.  
"You have those too?" She said "Where the memory is so vivid it's like you're there?"  
Vetinari nodded, and smiled.

Alexa then started up a stream of questions, seeing what they had in common.

Neither of them talked about her mother much. She asked for her name, Rosemary Harriet Vetinari, and why she was called Alexa, a name both parents had fallen in love with when young. Vetinari knew the had gone over the allotted time, but trusted Drumknott to re-schedule the meetings.

"I really must go." said Alexa, standing up from her chair. "Dad will be expecting me home."  
Vetinari followed her to the door.  
"It would be lovely to do this again." He said.  
"Yes it would" She replied, shaking his hand.  
"Goodbye Alexa."  
"Goodbye Havelock."

Vetinari watched from the door as she said goodbye to his secretary, who turned an interesting shade of pink when she shook his hand (noted to be brought up at a later date) and waited until she'd left his sight.

 

Maybe it didn't go exactly as they'd imagined, but both Alexa and Vetinari would agree, it went much better they they could have thought.  


	6. Unlikely bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologize now, I don't really know how old Drumknott is and I can't seem to find out, so right now, he is probably younger than expected but I didn't feel comfortable with the age gap. Deal with it. If there are no solid facts, you can't stop me!

Vetinari didn't see Alexa for a few days after their first meeting. He was trapped in back to back meetings, many of which were the repercussions of their elongated introduction session, not that he had any regrets about that.   
"Who am I seeing next, Drumknott? This is driving my to the edge of my patience." He said to the secretary, sat in the oblong office, behind his little desk.   
"I kept this afternoon free, my lord, for any social calls." Drumknott replied smoothly, not looking up from his constantly replenishing pile of paperwork.  
"Oh, thank you, Drumknott. Can you contact the university to see if Alexa is free?"  
"I have already done so, my lord, she has nothing on today and is able to meet you wherever you wish."    
  
Vetinari looked up in surprise at the secretary, who was still focused on his paperwork, the scratch of ink on paper audible in the shocked silence. Vetinari opened his mouth to speak, but Drumknott beat him too it.  
"I would suggest meeting her in the university somewhere, it would show a great deal of trust and respect to meet her on her own ground." He placed down his pen and looked up at his boss. "If that was what you were going to ask."  
"Yes it was, remind me how long you've worked for me."  
"Seven years, my lord." He replied, going back to his work. "Since I was seventeen. Many people wondered why you hired someone so young."   
"Contact Alexa and tell her I'm on my way to the university."  
"Yes my lord." Drumknott said, standing up to send off some clacks. 

When Alexa had gotten the message Vetinari was on his way over, she was slightly worried. She hadn't planned for any guests so her hair had been let loose and she was in an old deep burgundy summer dress. She was more than happy to pad around bare footed like that with the university staff and students, but her father?

She took some time to calm herself down, and decided not to change (but did put on some shoes). He was going to have to get to know her for her anyway, why not start now? She left her room to head towards the large courtyard she would be meeting him in. On leaving the room, she ran into a familiar figure.  
"HELLO MY CHILD." Said the skeletal figure.  
"Hello. Where are you going?" She replied, looking up into his eye sockets.  
"TO A MISTER EDWIN BLIGHTON. BUT I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND HIM." The seven foot skeleton consulted a timer in his robes. "HE ONLY HAS FIVE MINUTES." He sighed, as if he'd been looking for a while.  
"Blighter? Oh, he'll be hiding from you. I can take you, it's on my way actually." She said, starting a stroll in the direction of the courtyard.  
"So, how's Ysabelle?" 

Alexa had been able to see Death since she was little. The constant exposure to magic meant she could see him, like any wizard or cat. She was the first child to just treat Death like a person and before long, whenever Death made a call to the university, he checked up on her. He remembered to send birthday presents and Hogswatch gifts. When she was nine, she asked him why he called her 'My Child'. He replied, "BECAUSE YOU ARE THE FIRST CHILD TO SEE ME AND ACCEPT ME, MY CHILD."   
Alexa didn't really understand until she was older that Death rarely used terms of endearment and she felt very special and honored to be on the receiving end. 

They approached what seemed to be a solid wall. She walked through and suddenly it swung open.  
"Here you go." She said, indicating to a room full of easily kept food and, sure enough, a cowering wizard.  
"THANK YOU, MY CHILD. SAY HELLO TO THE LORD HAVELOCK FOR ME, HE HAS EVADED MY TOUCH FOR QUITE SOME TIME."  
"Sure, bye." She reached up and planted a small kiss on his bony cheek. Alexa walked on and could hear the pleas of the wizard die behind her, she took a quick look back, but the Grim Reaper was gone.

 Alexa walked into the courtyard to see Vetinari sat on a bench.  
"Sorry to keep you waiting, Havelock. I ran into an old friend." She said, reaching out a hand. Vetinari took it as he replied,   
"It's no problem, who did you meet?" He asked as she sat next to him.  
"Death, he couldn't find one of the wizards, Blighter has been talking about hiding for years." She replied, oblivious to the horror on Vetinari's face. "He said to say hello from him. Apparently you 'evaded his touch for quite some time.'" She finished her sentence in a very bad imitation of the leaden tones of Death.   
"Death?" Vetinari questioned in an uncharacteristically small voice.  
"Oh, I suppose that would be a bit of a shock." She said, realizing how it could sound to an outsider. "I have lived in an area of high magical concentration for eighteen years. This means I may gain a few magical properties, like walking through walls, and seeing Death. He's very nice and polite. He always remembers my birthday, and Hogswatch. If I recall right he once did a stint as the Hogfather, though he doesn't talk about it a lot and I'm just rambling now... Havelock, are you alright?" She trailed off at the pale tinge Vetinari seemed to have picked up.  
"The thought of my daughter knowing and talking to Death is just a little frightening." He said shakily after a moments silence.  
"It's okay, he doesn't decide when I die, that's the gods and their board game. Don't worry, he's fine." She said and she patted the Patrician's hand reassuringly.  
"Could we please talk about something other than Death?"  
"Yes, sure, ummm, what happened today at work?" She ventured, not sure what to say.  
"Awful. I am completely drained. Though don't tell anyone, I still need to look omnipotent."   
Alexa laughed slightly and bumped shoulders with him.   
"We can go back to the palace if you want." She whispered, noticing how he was constantly checking around the area.  
"Really, this was supposed to be a show of trust..." He was stopped by a hand to his lips.  
"Now I'm showing practicality, you're not comfortable out here, and I can't guarantee that we aren't being listened to, or that somewhere won't explode in the next few hours." She took the hand away and he nodded. "Come on then." She said, and jumped up, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the coach park. Unfortunately it was through a wall, though Alexa didn't seem to have a problem with that fact.  
"Alexa, the wall!" He shouted, trying to get out of her surprisingly strong grasp.  
"Just don't let go!" She shouted back, laughing as they approached what looked like solid wall to Vetinari.   
  
It was an odd sensation, walking (or in his case being pulled kicking and screaming) through a wall. It was like stepping under an ice cold shower, but you came out dry the other side. Vetinari stood blinking in the sunlight in the coach park. Alexa was bend over double with laughter.  
"Glad to know you trust me." She got out in between bouts of giggles. "I didn't know anyone could make a noise that high pitched!" She grinned at Vetinari's glare and indicated for him to go to his coach.

He opened the door, and as he got in he noticed a figure.  
"I hope you don't mind, my lord." Said the familiar voice of Drumknott. "But I needed a break from paperwork so I had the coach come and pick me up, I was about to go and have a look around town."    
"Not a problem, Drumknott, however we wish to be dropped off at the palace."  
"We?"  
Alexa climbed into the coach as well, sitting opposite the secretary.  
"Nice to see you again Rufus." She said, holding out a hand. He took it gently, then released it.  
"And you, Miss Alexa." He replied.  
"No need for the 'Miss' Rufus, Alexa is fine."  
Drumknott turned to the Patrician.  
"If it's alright with you, my lord, I think I will join you on the ride and just go back to the palace."  
"Of course." Came the reply from Vetinari confused about the sudden change of decision.

Alexa smiled at Drumknott and he turned a light shade of pink.  
"You have lots of work, huh?" She said, looking straight at him.  
"Yes, Mi-uh-Alexa. There is always plenty of paperwork at any given time. Today was just pretty taxing."   
"Hmm, why so?"  
"Some of the guilds haven't been paying their taxes properly. We need to find a way to fix it. The logistics are horrendous."  
"I can imagine, I've never understood the tax system. I'm assured the university pay the correct amount, but judging by the look the librarian gets when he checks over the maths, I'm not quite sure."  
"Well." Said Drumknott happily "I'd be happy to explain it to you!"  
Alexa smiled. "Please do."

It took Drumknott all of the coach journey and the walk to the oblong office to explain the tax system, and the problems they were having.  
"So that's why you think the assassinsguild is getting it wrong. Fascinating." Alexa said, stopping at the doors to the office.  
"Yes it is." Said Drumknott, smiling at her.  
"I'd love to talk some more, maybe if you have some free time..." She tailed off hopefully.  
"I rarely have much free time, Alexa, though I can ask the Patrician for some time, I'm sure I'm allowed some."  
"I'll have a chat with him." She said, patting him on the shoulder. "I'll sort it out."

Drumknott turned back to his desk as Alexa closed the door to the office, smiling as a warm fuzzy feeling spread through his chest. His paperwork didn't look so bad now. 


	7. Time off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexa manages to negotiate for Drumknott to have an extended lunch with her.

Alexa entered the office to find Vetinari stood looking out of the window.  
"You get on well with Drumknott." He said as she got closer.  
"Yes, I do."  
Vetinari looked her over. "You have a question" He paused a little before ending it with "my child."   
Alexa winced. "Yes I do, but please don't call me that."  
"Why?"  
"Someone already calls me that."  
""Who?" Vetinari frowned at her as she sighed.  
"Umm, Death calls me that."  
"Why-"  
Alexa held up a hand "It's a long story and I have a question, remember?"  
Vetinari looked like he was going to try and get the story from her, but gave in when she folded her arms and glared, daring him to try.  
"Okay then, Alexa, what is your question?"  
  
Suddenly she was nervous.   
"Umm." She glanced over at the expectant figure of Vetinari, who had moved away from the window, closer to her. "Is it possible Rufus could have some time off? Like just an afternoon or something? It's just we would both like some time to chat together and he doesn't ever seem to have free time." She rambled whilst Vetinari gave her a calculating look.  
"I think I could arrange for an extended lunch, but, Alexa, you must remember he is important to keeping things running, he cannot have too long away from work."

Alexa gave him a blinding grin and, much to the surprise of both parties, ran over and hugged him. "Thank you." She whispered, just before releasing him. Vetinari let out an awkward cough as he straightened out his robe.  
"How does tomorrow lunch sound?" He said, his voice wavering only a little.  
"Wonderful!" She clapped a little before sitting on one of the large seats the lord still had in his office. Vetinari sat on the other, and there was a few minutes of silence before Alexa spoke up.  
"So, I had to get the Bursar down from the roof today."  
Vetinari raised an eyebrow, and his lip quirked a little.  
"How did he get up there?"  
"The new medication he's being given makes him think he can fly. Being a wizard, it's actually quite possible." She chuckled lightly "I'm the only one he'll listen to."  
Vetinaris eyebrow got impossibly higher.  
"And why is that?"  
"Haha, it's a long story."  
"I have the rest of the afternoon."  
Alexa smiled and began plowing into the story.

She wasn't kidding when she said it was a long story, the sun was just setting as she finished. She looked out of the window and sighed.  
"I need to get going, Dad'll be worrying." She stood up and stretched, Vetinari walked to the door.  
"Goodbye Alexa."  
"Bye Havelock." She said, walking through the closed door.

Drumknott jumped when Alexa appeared in front of his desk.  
"I have gotten you an extend lunch tomorrow, I'll see you then." She said, with a smile, then she flaunted off through the locked door out. He smiled down at his paperwork, before continuing.   


"Druknott could you come in here?" Drumknott heard the Patrician say. He stood up from his dsk and walked into the oblong office. Vetinari was looking out of the large window that overlooked the city.   
"Drumknott, I assume Alexa told you about your extended lunch tomorrow." He said, not turning around.  
"Yes she did my lord."  
"She likes you." He said wistfully, in a tone Drumknott had never heard from the Patrician before. "I didn't think it would be this difficult."  
"What would be difficult, my lord?" Drumknott asked carefully.  
"Getting her to like me." He turned and looked at Drumknott, the lord looked very tired.  
"My lord, I think you should rest-"  
"Drumknott, why doesn't she accept me?"  
Drumknott held his breath a little, then released it. "My lord, she's just getting used to it, for eighteen years she's not known her father."  
"She still calls Ridicully her 'dad'."  
Drumknott became even more concerned when Vetinari dropped into his chair and dropped his face into his hands.  
"My lord, he's been her 'dad' for eighteen years. It will take her a while to stop that association. And she's a determined lady. Unfortunately, my lord, I think Ridicully will always be her 'dad'. I would strive to become her father. Be there for her alongside Ridicully, rather then trying to replace him."

Vetinari seemed to think it over.  
"Thank you, Drumknott. You may go."   
Drumknott nodded and began to leave.  
"If you hurt my daughter I can, and will, have you killed." Vetinari said as Drumknot approached the door.  
"I didn't expect anything less, my lord." Drumknott said, despite his stomach sinking in nerves. 


	8. Extended lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As you can see I have gotten rid of the Vetinari/Vimes ship from my storyline, maybe I could do it in another story. Maybe.

Drumknott was nervous.

He had ten minutes before his lunch started and he wasn't quite sure whether he wanted the time to slow down or speed up. His hand moved on automatic, filling out the paperwork. The silence of the office was broken by a light cough from the Patrician.  
"Drumknott, you seem a little distracted."  
Drumknott let out a little noise of surprise as he tried to think of a reasonable answer.  
"Well-"  
"Your lunch starts in five minutes, I give you permission to go earlier if you wish." He said, a smile trying to fight its way through as Drumknott let of a stream of uncharacteristically incoherent replies of gratitude.  
"Be back on time, Drumknott." Vetinari warned as his secretary sped out of the door, knowing he was heard.

Drumknott was planning on going back to his chambers for a quick splash of water, however the universe is rarely so kind, and he bumped into Alexa on the way.  
"Hey!" She shouted as he walked out of the door to the oblong office. Drumknott mentally sighed, but smiled and waved in return as he walked towards her.  
"So what are we doing for lunch?" He asked her, well aware that he looked very work-worn already, whereas she looked beautifully fresh. Her hair was pinned back out of the way today, she had a very light green dress on with little lace up pumps that allowed her to bounce around as she normally did with ease.  
"Well." She said as she pushed an invisible hair out of her face. "I have a picnic set up in the gardens." 

They both turned a corner, Drumknott hadn't been concentrating on their whereabouts and only know realized she'd been walking them towards here, a small wall enclosed space that Drumknott was sure no one had been in for years, due to the lack of available entrances.  
"Take my hand." She said, holding out her hand towards him. He gave her a frown, that she laughed at, and gently went to hold hers. She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the towering, very, very solid wall in front of them. Drumknott held his nerve and trusted Alexa as he reached the wall. He went through and came out the other side with a shiver. She looked over at him astonished.  
"You, didn't scream, question my sanity, pull away!" She exclaimed.  
"I trust you." He replied plainly.  
"Even Havelock screamed." She whispered, then pulled him towards a blanket and basket.

"I found it this morning." She said, gesturing at the whole box of a place as she sat down. "I was looking for somewhere nice."  
And it was nice, there were hundreds of wildflower growing, set free when the place became isolated. Ivy creeped up the wall and a long unattended rose bush claimed one side of the garden. Alexa twisted her hand into the grass nervously.  
"Do you like it?" She asked, looking directly into Drumknott's eyes.  
"Yes, it's beautiful." He replied, smiling at her, the returning smile making him feel immediately more relaxed than this morning. She pulled two plates, two cups, a bottle full of something, a little pile of sandwiches, a covered bowl and a little pile of sweets from her basket and laid them out on the blanket.  
"I asked a few people." She began, putting a sandwich on his plate "And I found out you liked this."  
Drumknott picked up the sandwich and opened it up. Inside there was a slice of apple, some pork and a drizzle of honey. Like his mother used to make them. Alexa smiled as his eyes widened and he looked up at her.  
"This is wonderful!" He said, placing the bread back on top. He took a bite and Alexa laughed as a grin spread across his face. She took a bite from hers too and smiled with him. 

They were sat facing each other, Drumknott had half an hour left of his lunch, a cup in hand (an odd tasting (though non-alcoholic) juice she said was from Sto Lat somewhere) the covered bowl (that was full of fruit) was empty and a small pile of sweet wrappers were collected in the middle.  
"So." Said Alexa "What do you do for fun?"   
Drumknott was stumped for a while.  
"I don't have very much free time, if I do, I tend to sleep."  
"Oh come on!" She exclaimed "What do you enjoy doing?"  
"I do enjoy my paperwork."   
Alexa shook her head, placed down her drink and took his from him. "Follow me." 

She grabbed him and pulled him towards one of the towering walls.   
"When I was a kid, I loved to climb." She said, hoisting herself up to a little ledge.   
"I've never climbed before." Drumknott said nervously, feet still on the ground.  
"Come on, first time for everything! I won't let you fall, Rufus. Come on!" She held a hand down for him and he took it gently. She gripped it tight and pulled him up.  
Slowly she guided Drumknott up the wall, and soon they had reached the top. 

"This is the best bit." She said, leaning against him as they sat on the wall. "Looking out."   
It wasn't that interesting, being in the palace grounds, surrounded by building, but that didn't bother Drumknott. But, he was well aware of the time and didn't know if there would be another moment like this, Alexa leaning on him, a hand on his and he lent over and kissed her on the cheek. He pulled away quickly and looked down at his dangling feet. There was a moment of silence and Drumknott began to regret his action, what if he'd just lost a friend?

He felt a slim finger hook under his chin and force him to look at Alexa. She didn't say anything, just tipped her head slightly and smiled, her ice blue eyes warm as she looked into Drumknotts terrified brown ones. She leaned forward and Drumknott couldn't process the action. He closed his eyes and wondered what it might be. He was taken by surprise when she pressed her lips lightly to his own.   
"Do you know how frustrating it is, waiting for you to make the first move?" She whispered to him as she pulled back. He shook his head. "Incredibly." She whispered back, then kissed his nose. "You'd better start making a move Rufus, you don't want to be late back."  
Drumknott nodded then followed her down the wall, picking his way slowly down.

They packed away the food and blanket into the basket and she grabbed his hand, pulling him through the wall, keeping their fingers interlaced once they'd been released by the stone. They walked all the way back to Drumknotts desk outside the oblong office, where she placed down the basket and pulled something from within it.   
"I brought you a present." She said, holding out a closed hand. She placed the other one over his eyes and he chuckled as he closed them, blocking out the gaps in between the fingers.  
"Hold out a hand." She instructed, and he did so. He felt her put a small object into his palm, then removed the hand from his eyes. She had placed a small stone in his hand, smooth and rounded.  
"It's from the top of the wall." She explained. "I have one too." She pulled another one from the basket.  
"Thank you, it's perfect." Drumknott said, kissing her on the forehead. "I need to go in now."  
She nodded and gave him a quick hug, letting him go, when she shouted. "Give Havelock this would you?" She held out a letter with the Patricians full name inked on the front. "It's from Dad." She explained. "I'll see you soon, I hope." She said as he was about to enter the room.  
"Me too." He replied and smiled at her as she blew him a kiss, then walked into the oblong office, to find Vetinari staring at him.

"You're early Drumknott." He said calmly as Drumknott approached the desk.  
"Alexa made sure I wasn't late, my lord." He replied as he gave the lord the letter from Ridicully. "Alexa gave me this for you, it's from Headmaster Ridicully."  
Vetinari nodded and sat back to read the letter. Drumknott went back to his desk, placing the small rock beside his pot of pens, smiling as he did so.

A few minutes had passed, Drumknott had started on the ever-present paperwork, when Vetinari spoke.  
"I hope you're not becoming one of those men who fills his desk with trinkets."  
Drumknott jumped, and dropped his pen, but quickly gained his wits, and looked up at the older man.  
"No, my lord."  
"Then what is that on your desk?"  
Drumknott didn't even have to look where Vetinari had begun to stare at, to know he was talking about his newly acquired present.  
"It was a gift from Alexa, my Lord." He said cautiously, not sure how the lord would act.  
"Why ever would she give you a rock?" The tone he was using was a warning sign to Drumknott, but there was no way he was going to be able to lie to the man, he would find out somehow.  
"It is a souvenir from our lunch, my lord, she has one too."  
"How was your lunch?" Vetinari narrowed his gaze and Drumknott held it carefully.  
"It was very nice, Alexa put in a lot of effort, my lord."  
"And where was it?" His questions becoming less general and more invasive every time he asked one.  
"In a small closed of section of the palace gardens, my lord, the only way in was through the wall." He replied curtly, feeling a little hurt that the Patrician didn't trust him with his daughter.  
"And what happened in that closed off section of the gardens?"  
"I think that is personal, my lord, if you wish to know, I would also need Alexa's permission to tell you." He said sharply, before continuing with his paperwork as if nothing happened, still fuming a little inside. There was a few minutes silence when Drumknott could feel Vetinaris gaze on him, but he didn't rise to it.

A while later he heard something slam down onto the desk. Drumknott looked up in surprise just as Vetinari growled.  
"Get Ridicully here, now."  
Drumknott nodded curtly and ran out of the room. 


	9. Interviews

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otto Chriek, who doesn't love him.

There was a heated argument going on in the oblong office when Alexa stormed in, straight through the closed doors.   
"How dare you try and decide things about my life without me!" She yelled, causing the two men to break their shouting to stare at the young woman who had her arms folded and was tapping her foot impatiently.   
  
Both men's mouths bobbed like fish before sealing themselves shut and looking a little dejected.   
"Good." She said "I'm doing this interview." She held up her hand to stop Vetinari's coming objection. "However, I will not be lying to the public." She held her hand towards Ridicully's approaching objection. "I'm eighteen. I am legally an adult, you cannot tell me what and what not to do or say. I have had a chat with William and I have arranged it for a week tomorrow, in a little studio he has for things like this, he said he needed to have another chat about clothes, whatever that means."

There was a timid knock on the door, then Drumknott poked his head in.  
"My lord, Commander Vimes is here to see you." He said nervously, glancing around the occupants of the room.  
"Tell him I'm busy Drumknott." He snapped back a the secretary.   
Drumknott nodded and left. An awkward silence followed as Alexa glowered at Vetinari.  
"You couldn't be a little more polite to him, could you? He's such a nice man and sometimes you treat him so badly!" She exclaimed, listening to the voice of Commander Vimes drift angrily through the door.   
"Why are you so protective of him, Alexa!" Vetrinari yelled, Ridicully forgotten and hiding in a chair.  
"Because I like him! Am I not allowed to have people I care about?" She shouted back.   
"Not when he won't tell me what happened this lunch!"  
"You questioned him?!" She yelled "By Io! How much more invasive could you get, I've known you for like a week! You don't get to know everything about me!"  
"I am your father, I get to know these things!"  
"You are my parent." She said, voice suddenly dropping in volume and temperature. "You are damn well not my father." 

Just then Vimes stormed in with Drumknott on his tail, trying to stop him.  
"I'm sorry, my lord, I couldn't stop him." Drumknott apologized as he entered the room.  
"This is the second time you've blown me off Vetinari, you need to explain or I swear I will rip this place up finding out."  
"Pleasure to meet you." Alexa began before Vetinari could speak. "My name is Alexa Vetinari and I may be the source of the problem, but please feel free to rip this place up." She glared daggers at her father, then stormed out, grabbing Drumknott by the arm and dragging him with her.

The noise of another argument sounded from the closed door, but Alexa was silent, wrapped up in Drumknotts arms. She held onto him tight and they swayed a little where they stood as Drumknotts shoulder started to become damp.  
"Why is everything so difficult?" She whispered to Drumknott when the tears had stopped falling.  
"I don't know." He replied, rubbing little circles into the gap between her shoulder blades. "I wish I did."   
"I don't hate Havelock." She said gently, still holding on tight. "He just winds me up sometimes."  
"He's just trying to be a parent." Drumknott moved back a little to kiss her on the forehead. "He is trying."  
"That's the problem, he's trying too hard and I'm being suffocated, I have dad on one side, who is suddenly becoming more protective and now I have Havelock who is holding so tight I can't breathe." She sighed and leaned forward. "I can't even go on a picnic." She let out a weak laugh into his shoulder. She looked up at him, then gently pressed their lips together, holding onto his neck, he held her waist gently and they swayed, stood behind Drumknotts desk outside the office. 

Just then Vimes walked out, looking in a little shock, helmet in his hands. He looked over at the desk, and upon seeing Alexa and Drumknott locked in a kiss, he dropped his helmet, letting a ringing clang echo around the hall. Neither of Alexa and Drumknott moved, in fact, Alexa's grip tightened and she pushed their lips together harder. Both Vetinari and Ridicully came out to see why the commander had made such noise and saw the two kissing.

Ridicully smiled at the two, whereas Vetinari looked positively horrified. Alexa pulled back, laughing quietly.  
"I'm so dead." She whispered, then she looked over at the men in the doorway, Vimes having taken the opportunity to race to the nearest exit. Ridicully just raised an eyebrow and Vetinari looked like he was about to burst into flames.  
"Both of you into the office, now." Vetinari commanded and Alexa shared a nervous glance with Drumknott, before lacing their fingers together and walking into the room. Surprisingly it was Ridicully who was the first to speak.  
"Havelock, don't do anything you're going to regret." He said gently, standing in front of Alexa and Drumknott.   
"Mustrum, she's my daughter, I have to protect her."  
"From what? I have seen her with boys who wouldn't look out of place in a street gang, some of them were disgusting, I've seen her with men years older than her, ones that were stupidly reckless, some plain stupid. There have been such untrustworthy ones, such dangerous ones, such ridiculous ones. Now she has chosen Dumknott. A man you know and trust, who is sensible, well educated, polite, kind and who will look after her. Don't be angry, don't shout at her for it, don't disapprove just accept it because if you ban it, I will help the kids date behind your back."

Vetinari looked stunned. Drumknott had moved closer to Alexa and protectively wrapped a hand around her waist and Alexa had grabbed hold of that hand and was leaning in towards him, still slightly hidden behind Ridicully.  
"Thank you Daddy." She said, giving him a look and Ridicully seemed to understand, leaving the room. She turned to Drumknott. "Could you give us a moment?" She asked, releasing his hand. The secretary nodded and she kissed him on the cheek before he left. When the door had closed, she still looked at it.  
"I know you're angry." She said gently, "and I'm sorry, what I said was wrong, I was angry too." She turned around "I don't hate you, Havelock, I understand what you're trying to do." She walked up to Havelock, who was frozen solid. "But you're overcompensating, you're smothering me, pushing me and it's too much." She hovered in front of him, hands twitching, making a decision. Seeming to reach an answer, she gently wrapped her arms around Vetinari, in an awkward hug.   
"I do care about you, and I'm happy you're so concerned about me, but it's just a bit much." She said into his shoulder, feeling his arms enclose her and he let out a deep breath.  
"I'm sorry." He said quietly, as if testing out the words "I just found you, I can't just let you go."   
Alexa chuckled lightly. "That's the sweetest thing Iv'e ever heard you say." She buried her head in his chest.  
"Are you serious about Drumknott?"   
"Havelock, it's only been a few days, I really don't know." She looked up at him "But he's the best one I've ever chosen, I'll tell you that. I was never very good at choosing boyfriends." She rested a cheek oh his chest and began to laugh. Vetinari rests his head atop hers and smiled.  
"I shall have Mr de Word up here tomorrow to discuss the clothing issue."  
"Okay Havelock." She laughed "Just don't scare him too much." She gave him a quick squeeze, then let go. "I'd better go see how Rufus is doing with dad." She walked towards the door, laughing a little.

Drumknott was sat behind his desk with a look of fear in his eyes, whilst Ridicully was sat across from him, with a small smug grin on his face.  
"Dad!" Alexa exclaimed, seeing the look in the secretary's eyes.  
"I did the same as I did with all the other ones, he did well you know, he didn't run, or cry. Just looks a little frightened." Ridicully replied calmly, as Alexa laughed and went over to hug Drumknott, who was looking a little confused.   
"It's okay." She said into his ear "You passed." 

 

The next day William de Word was sat nervously in the oblong office, with Vetinari staring at him and Alexa sending him apologetic glances.  
"Explain exactly why you want her to dress up like this." Vetinari said over his steepled fingers.   
"We will be featuring an iconograph with the interview and most people want to dress well for it." Replied de Word "That and Otto likes it if he can take iconographs he thinks look beautiful."  
Vetinari opened his mouth to speak, but Alexa held up a hand and cut him short, de Word gaped at the girl as she began to speak.  
"I think I'm okay with this William, I will have to go shopping though, judging by what other people seem to be wearing in the iconographs." She smiled at de Word. Vetinari gave her an indescribable look as she grinned at him.

 

"No."  
Alexa scowled at Ridicully and Vetinari as they said it at the same time. They were sat in the oval office with a tailor giving her dresses to try on. It was the fifth one that they'd said no to and she'd only tried on six, and she'd said no to that one because it looked terrible.  
"Right." She said, folding her arms "Both of you out and I will make this decision. On my own."  
"But-" Both began, but she held her hand up and both men closed their mouths and stood up. She smiled at them as the walked out. The tailor looked a little shocked, but gave her another dress.  
Three dresses later the tailor gasped when she walked out from behind the changing screen.  
"This is it." Alexa said, looking in the mirror that had been rolled into the room. The dress was knee length, layers and layers of thin pleated material created the skirt in black, the top was a bodice in a blood red outlined in a black lace, tied up the back with a black ribbon. Thin black lace covered the whole of her arms and chest from the bodice to half way up her neck.    
"Go and bring them in." She said to the tailor as she spun in front of the mirror.

Both Vetinari and Ridicully were speechless.  
"My baby, you're an adult now!"   
Alexa started to laugh as she was spun around by Ridicully.   
"So you approve?" She giggled as she was put down.   
"If you would've shown me it on the hanger, I would've said in your dreams, but now it's on, I love it!"   
Alexa giggled as she tucked herself under his arm and smiled over at Vetinari.  
"What do you think?" She asks him and he just nods. She laughs louder and pulls herself away, behind the changing screen. She bounces out through it, much to the terror of the tailor, with the dress in her hand. 

 

The next week Alexa was being escorted into the studio, the dress in a bag along with some shoes and a hairpiece. When she walked in the door she was greeted by an oddly dressed man with a vial of what looked like blood around his neck.  
"It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Vetinari. I am Otto von Chriek, ze iconographer."  
"It's nice to meet you Otto, please call me Alexa." She replied with a smile.  
"Okay zen, Alexa, I can't vait to take your iconograph."  
"I'm quite excited actually" She said as they walked through to where she was going to get changed.  
"Zat's vonderful." He replied "Please get changed, ve vill have a makeup artist here soon."  
"Makeup?" She shouted over the screen.  
"Trust me, you vill love it."

Alexa walked out in the dress just as a woman with a box of something walked in.  
"Oh my dear you look wonderful!" She exclaimed and flapped around her for a little bit before guiding her to a chair. She opened her box and it was full of pots and sticks of things.  
"I don't think I'll need to do much to you, look at this face!"  
Alexa wasn't really sure what to say and glanced over at the opening door, which revealed de Word and a couple of other people that were obviously from the press. 

"What are you doing?" Alexa asked the makeup lady, reaching up to touch her eyes. The lady smacked her hand away.  
"Don't touch, you'll smudge it!" She exclaimed as she began to put something on Alexa's lips. When the lady was happy with whatever she'd done, she passed Alexa a mirror.   
"Oh my gosh!" Alexa exclaimed, earning her the attention of the room, not that she noticed. "That's not me!"   
The makeup lady laughed at her and Alexa smiled at her, then at the rest of the room.  
"Vow." Said Otto "Zat is a brilliant smile, I vould love to get zat in an iconograph." And he guided her over to a chair.

In the end, it took them half an hour to decide on the pictures. They chose three, one where she is sat on a high back chair with her ankles crossed, one arm along the arm rest, her other hand was resting against her cheek, curled around her lips, that were painted the same red as her corset. The next was her stood, looking into the distance to the right of the camera, laughing. The last she was laying on the floor, dress spread out around her, arms spread-eagle and legs bent at the knee, both leaning to the left.

When she'd finished, she got changed back into her dungarees and t-shirt to sit and do the interview.  
"So." Began de Word "I don't really know where to start, there is so much that I don't understand! That I don't know!"  
"Well, how about I give you a brief history?"  
"Sounds good."  
"I was born in the Unseen University, where my mother died a few minutes later. I was taken in by the wizards, predominately Mustrum Ridicully, who is like my dad. When I was one, something happened and I could speak fluent Morporkian, later on, when I was three I began to walk through walls, and could talk to Death. Apart from that I'd say it was pretty regular until a few weeks ago when I found out that my father was the Patrician. Quite a shock, I'll tell you that."  
De Word laughed along with her.  
"And is it okay that he's not here?" He asked  
"I banned him from coming and scaring everyone in the room, he does that."  
"You banned him?"  
"Yes, I did."

They tailed off into the rest of the interview, finishing in around an hour, a carriage pulling up to take her back to the palace.  
"I'll send you a copy tomorrow." Says de Word as Alexa leaves.  
"Thank you very much William." She says, getting into the carriage.

 

[This is my blog, it contains a picture I drew of Alexa in her dress if you want to see it!](http://slight-irregularities.blogspot.co.uk/)


End file.
